The Resolution Deception

Day: ??????
Current Weight: 220(ish) lb

It has been three months since I have posted anything on here. The truth is, that I gained a whole lot of weight (5 or so pounds) and was afraid to come back on here until I, at the very least, broke even. Then, I did reach my original weight and lost even more. Then the holidays kicked off. That's when I realized the odd thing about resolutions: the whole "I want to lose X pounds by the next year" is not only cliche but an excuse for not thinking up a better resolution.

Losing weight as a resolution is more like a reaction to all the food that we stuff ourselves with over the holiday season. Halloween candy,Thanksgiving turkey, and Christmas cookies are just padded weight and not to mention a collective, tangible manifestation of our guilt over pigging out when we've been raised to believe that it's the season of giving.... Sorry I got all "college" just then.

The bottom line is, my goal to get back to 180 pounds has not changed, but I will not alter it into a New Year's Resolution, as that is just another set up for failure. Putting a hard time limit will just stress me out. I have got to go at my own pace if I expect to get to that "ideal weight" whilst maintaining my sanity.

Now that I got yet another rant out of my system let's take a look back at the year. Since I've started on this kooky experiment, I have lost a net amount of 18+ pounds. Hooray for me! And what makes this so different is the fact that I'm doing it on my own terms. I turned on the T.V. the other day and saw all the weird "reality" shows that emphasize the so-called "ideal" body. Seriously, how frakking stupid is the idea of one body type?

If you want to lose weight, you should do it because you want to be a healthier person. Or at the very least, lose the weight because you yourself would like to lose the weight. You can't shed the pounds for someone else otherwise it all comes back with a vengeance... and with a whole lot of other pounds. I suppose that's why I've been successful thus far. Firs and foremost, I learned to be comfortable in my own skin. And then, I decided it would be in my best interest to change my eating habits. That way if whoever I was trying to impress loses interest, I don't gain the weight back since I'm doing it for my own personal pleasure.

So with that being said, this will be my final blog for the year 2009. (But not for the decade as the true beginning of the millennium was in 2001 and not 2000... Sorry for the extra rant) Have a Happy New Year and cherish the one day that it is appropriate to celebrate the dropping of balls.

Cereal Killer

Day: 27
Current Weight: 224.3 lb

So I’ve teetered and tottered between 224 and 225 for the past week. I went to the grocery store today to restock on the healthy ingredients that have helped get this far. Imagine yourself walking down the aisle of the supermarket looking for cereal. Chances are that you’ve already got a brand in your head, or at the very least, you know what kind of cereal you’re looking for. I’m usually the same way, but not this time. Why? I don’t know, I felt like something different.

Once you train your body to start eating healthily (and more importantly not hating yourself for doing so), it’s very easy to get bored. And when you get bored, you use that as an excuse to splurge on the naughty food. So, in order to get out of that rut, I committed myself to buying a different cereal to start the mornings of with. I went down the aisle and actually felt intimidated by all the different kind of cereal there is to buy out there.

Most of the time I just walk in and say, “Cheerios, there it is!” Then, I take a box that hasn’t had the crap beaten out of it (Why do they even put those boxes on the shelf?) and move on down my grocery list. Instead I looked wide-eyed and stupefied at the wall of breakfast foods staring back at me. It seriously looked like I was trying to learn how to read in the middle of the store. Suffice it to say, I’m going back to grocery lists.

The bike seems to be helping a lot. It’s quiet, doesn’t require any electricity to operate, and is really low-impact. The last bit is really important if, like me, you’ve got horrible weak arches on your feet. I think it can be technically called a line if there is no arch in it at all. But I digress.

Even though I’m not losing as rapidly as I was a few weeks ago I’m happy with the progress I’ve been making. I’m still losing weight, albeit the bare minimum to be considered weight loss, but still I’m going the opposite direction that I fear to go. I think that’s another thing that’s essential to weight loss: Optimism. Times are tight and it’s comforting to know that we still have control over some things in life.

What Engineers Do

Day: 23
Current Weight: 225.2 lb

I was sitting around wondering what excuse I can think up for not writing in a while. Then, I realized that if I didn’t care enough to write for a week, then who would care enough to read. So, the answer as to why I haven’t posted in a while is sheer laziness. There’s no school or work to blame it on so I’ll place the blame on how lazy I get. In the course of the week I got a new toy: a cheaply engineered stationary bike.

Let me explain the finer points of engineering. When there’s a problem, an engineer is the first to sit at a desk and figure out a solution. And when said solution has inherent problems in bringing it to fruition, then it is a poorly engineered design. In other words, I don’t think the people that designed the stationary bike I got took into account how awkward it was to assemble their product.

You would think they would have designed the stability base of the bike to be easily attached and bolted onto the body without having to move the entire unit too much. However, they figured it would be easier to have to bolt holes accessible only by turning the entire thing upside-down. This wouldn’t be a problem if the damned thing didn’t have a low center of gravity. So here I am, putting some hardcore yoga positions into practice while reaching for the hex key (an abomination in of itself) and screwing on the bolts. Let’s just say I’ll be wearing a cup next time I have to assemble something.

The whole ordeal left me exhausted, sweaty, and frankly I was too tired to jump on the bike and do any exercise at all. Luckily all that blood, sweat, and tears I put into the project got me to lose 1.5 pounds. However, everyday, since then, I have been jumping on that stationary bike and been losing about a pound a day. It should be a lesson to all of you would-be health nuts: Don’t cheap out on equipment.

As my sister said, “They didn’t know whether to make a seat for men or women, tried to satisfy both, and everyone loses.” Not to mention that the digital indicator and timer don’t work. Thankfully, enough of it works that I’m not going to lug it back to the sporting goods store. But who knows, maybe that’s another workout waiting to happen. One day, when I’m back to 180 lb, the masses will ask, “How did you do it?” And I shall reply, “The secret to my success is an unending supply of inept engineers.”

In honor of my new toy, please enjoy the aural pleasures of Queen. Disclaimer: The views of Queen do not necessarily reflect that of my own, chiefly those views of Star Wars, Frankenstein, and Superman.

My Big Fat Brain

Day: 14
Current Weight: 229.2 lb

It’s official. Two separate scales are measuring me at different weights, and the difference is not consistent at all. So the weight that I’ll be posting is the weight that I officially weigh in on the scale at the clinic I go to everyday. Therefore, these numbers represent what I weigh when I’m fully clothed. Sorry, ladies.

I was out of town last weekend, making the measurement of food virtually impossible. I was in Sedona, AZ and decided the best place to get healthy food was in one of those organic foods, hippie supermarkets. By the way, there’s something called a cherry hemp brownie. It’s exactly what it sounds like. The munchies are not conducive to a healthy diet, people.

However, it made me realize how it easy it was to stray away from diets. Do you realize how many excuses we come up with to eat more? There’s breakfast. Let’s say you get some cereal. When it came to me, I would always put too much milk so that when I had my last spoonful of cereal I could say to myself, “Hey, look at all that milk. I don’t want to waste all that. Better get more cereal to finish that off.” And that’s why I’m not surprised that I had been fat for most of my life.

Then there’s the Twinkies syndrome, or any Hostess product, now that I think of it. I would open the package and would then be “forced” to eat both Ho-Ho’s, Twinkies, or Snowballs. If I just ate one, then the other one would be open to the elements. It would be susceptible to spoiling, which would just be a waste of my money. And in today’s economy, you can’t be so frugal with cash.

Then there’s the developing nation excuse for eating food. I go to a fast-food joint and order one of those large burgers that are about the size of a very large baby. By the time I’m halfway through with it, I’m no longer hungry. But I’ve got to soldier on. As each minute passes, as each bite is bitten, I can feel the need to move on over to the next notch on the belt. I really shouldn’t finish the burger, but I’ve paid that money and I’ve come all this way. I can’t quit now. Then, there’s the moment of temporary defeat when I put the last bite down and look at it. I know I have to toss it in the trash. But I come up with this piece of crap excuse, “There are kids in developing countries that would kill each other over getting a scrap of food like that. So, I have to eat it. Take the scrap out of the equation and no one has to die. I have to finish… For the kids.”

Of course, being overweight takes practice. I would look at a buffet and have an entire strategy planned out. I would know what to do in case of emergency (you know, potty-wise). The fried foods always go last since you fill up on them. Liquids, like stews and soups, are always optional since it fills up you up quickly as well. Salads? Seriously, if you’re at a buffet, you might as well do it right. As Martin Luther once said, “If you must sin, sin boldly.” You take the plate in your hand, fingers spread out underneath and the thumb just barely over the edge. The trick is to take a little bit of everything so you know exactly what to come back for. Always reserve double the space that you would normally have. There’s one pile for eating and the cleanup pile to put the dishes you’re done with. That one has to be close to the edge to help the bus boy crew. Deserts are always fun, since you can actually use some creativity. Go ahead and don’t be afraid to mix the fruit up with the ice cream or yogurt. Like I always say, “It’s not a sprint. It’s a marathon.” So take your time.

The bottom line is, I was a fat kid because I thought like a fat kid. Eating was a passion, a way of life, a drug, a comfort. It was everything to me. And now, it has been whittled down to a means of sustenance. Well, that would be simplifying what a diet truly is, but the bottom line is, a vice is fine to have as long as it’s in regulation. However, if it weren’t for this diet, I wouldn’t have learned to become creative in the kitchen. I eat the same thing day in, day out, so I have to find ways to look forward to the next meal without straying from this diet. But that’s for another time.

*yawn* Zzzz Zzzz Zzzz

Day: 12
Current Weight: 232.6 lb

I'll be honest. I'm too tired to write out anything witty, clever, or remotely funny. I'm also a little bit bummed out, but discovered the fastest way to get that out of my system is to hit the gym. So, I hit the gym. I'm not as bummed as I was earlier today (long story), but I'm sore and sleepy. So if you want to be entertained, you can wait until tomorrow's post... Or you can go back to the previous post and watch Austin Powers peeing again. Good night, kiddos!

Those Blasted Numbers

Day: 6
Current Weight: 232.7 lb

That's okay. Maintenance isn't gaining but that's cool. According to the scale at home, I lost just over half a pound. But apparently, not according to the one in the clinic.

Day: 7
Current Weight: 232.7 lb

What. The. Frak. I think I should start posting the weight I get from the scale at home. According to that one, I've lost almost two pounds in the past two days. That's drastically different from what the scale at the clinic says. The good news is that neither say that I've gained any weight in the past three days, which is good. But then again, when I'm at the clinic, I weigh myself with clothes on as the other option is a little creep, and I'm sure an invitation to litigation.

I'll still post the weight that comes up from the clinic, but it's really not that great an indicator of what's going on. I've been doing a whole lot more yard work, and working out, so clothes are fitting more loosely. Cravings aren't as big a deal as they were a week ago. And my bladder has practically gotten used to my water drinking habits. Although, it still makes watching a long movie, an unpleasant experience if I'm not sitting in the aisle.

I think when there's a little fluctuation, people freak out, and that's something I really can't fully understand. If you steadily increase in weight for a few days, then that can be frustrating. But gaining a third of a pound over the course of a single day is no cause to go all Dr. Banner on the scale. This is when you start to psych yourself out.

Losing weight is great, maintaining is good, and a small gain is nothing but a bump in the road. If anything, a small gain should be motivation to keep at it. And the great thing about being on a diet during the summer is that nobody cares if you're sweating. Everyone is sweating over here. It's disgusting.

Last night I was exhausted from all the errands, work, and workouts I had accomplished. That's why I've posted this two in one special. Then I realized, I had very little left to talk about. I'm headed out of town for the weekend so I won't be able to post anything new for a couple days. It's cool since nobody is really reading this anyway. When I get back, I'm going to start getting my ass to the gym. There will be new stories to be told, as there are a good mix of good looking people, and unusually ripped old people. That's the glamor of going to an LA gym so close to the Hollywood Hills. Until then, I'll see you on Monday.

I Just Felt Like Running

Day: 5
Current Weight: 232.7 lb

So ends another day of eating healthily and working out. Well, at this stage of the diet, I thought it’d be best if I eased my body into steady workouts. This first week, in addition to walking the dog, I would take 45 minutes out of my day to either take another walk or hop on the treadmill. Most experts say that 30 minutes is good to get the cardio working, while you have to get at least a regular 45 minutes of walking time to start to lose weight. And who am I to argue with experts?

But there are three distinct obstacles when facing the treadmill monster:

1. Just getting your butt on the infernal machine: Though I don’t recommend getting your butt on the treadmill, try starting with your feet and see how that tickles your fancy. But seriously, sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it. It’s just another wall to my weight loss goal, and I thought it’d be easier to run through it than to work my way around it. And if I have to run through a wall, I might as well practice on a treadmill. [Insert rim shot followed by cricket chirps here]

2. Forty-five minutes exceeds this generation’s attention span: True. I don’t think anybody is here to argue that. But in order to combat the boredom of literally staying in one place for nearly an hour, I suggest music or movies. If you put really good reruns on, it makes the time go by really fast. Action movies and sports do the trick too. When it comes to music, you obviously want to go with something you really enjoy. But I suggest some inspirational music. Rocky’s theme is cliché, but you can’t deny the results. I find that working out to the soundtrack of The Dark Knight not only gets you pumped up, but it also does put you in an ass-kicking mood. (Warning: Do not try this in a gym where everyone is bigger than you are… Trust me.)

3. So that’s why everyone brings towels to the gym: You will sweat, especially if you’re overweight like I am. After awhile, you begin to wonder where all that fluid came from what with all the peeing and perspiration. But it’s going to be all right, you actually feel really good about having finished a workout. My only problem is sweat getting in my eyes. I still haven’t found out how to get rid of that problem. I tried taking a headband and using it too wipe the sweat from my eyes. But then I realized that being on a treadmill and blindfolding yourself is not the best thing for one’s health.

Now, of course there’s the stretching that you have to do before any workout. On a side note, there is such a thing as stretching too much. I could go through the physiological process of the muscle filaments and how the H-zone has a maximum length (obviously since the thick and thin filaments are of finite length) so to overstretch the muscle is to exceed the capability of the muscle itself risking potential injury… but I think that’d just bore you. Also, speaking as a person with freaky looking feet (they freaked out an orthopedic), you should ALWAYS have on good running shoes on.

In honor of the treadmill I’ve posted the famous music video for OK Go’s “Here It Goes Again.” If you don’t enjoy the pleasant sounds of a band that’s been around for a long time and was only recently discovered in the U.S., then I also put a funny video about peeing again. Have fun, kids!

Brought to you by the letter "P"

Day: 4
Current Weight: 234.0

I don’t know what my exact weight is, but my scale at home does say that I had a slight gain. No big deal. I did do some research and found that if you feel like you’re starving yourself, what little food you intake will immediately be stored as fat. Apparently, the body is thinking it’s in survival mode and food is scarce so it stores whatever comes its way was fat.

As mentioned in a previous post, I earned my first degree in biology. The one surprising thing I learned is that the most people don’t get enough of the most basic of nutrients (i.e. oxygen, water, protein, etc.). Apparently not everyone breathes to his or her full capacity, and I’m not even talking about deep breathing. Normal breath isn’t exactly healthy breath. From what I’ve read, rhythm is key, which would explain why people who do yoga regularly don’t age like “normal” people.

Then there’s water. That’s something we all can have a little more control over. Whether you’re on a diet like me, or in training for whatever reason, everyone tells you to drink lots and lots and LOTS of water. If your urinary system is working well and you don’t suffer from some sort of edema or lymph problems, you should pretty much use up all the water you should be using and your body gets rid of the excess.

How does it do that? There’s sweating, breathing, normal respiration, and the one that is most unpleasant (and equally hilarious if it’s not happening to you) micturition. What? You’ve never heard of it? Well, on the streets it’s referred to as peeing, taking a piss, draining the lizard, making apple juice. You get the point.

I’ve started to eat normal portions of food: a small meal every two or three hours. I can actually eat vegetables and fruit and load up on lettuce. And here’s a good trick to remember. A lot of times, we only feel hungry because of a hormone telling us we should eat more (more of that “body thinking you’re in survival mode” stuff). But if you drink a whole lot of water after a meal, you can actually trick your body into being full. It’s not permanent, but it does stave off the craving long enough to think before you eat.

Sure, I can go into the details of how it works. I can explain how the water expands the cardiac orifice of the stomach that tells the brain to tell the body to stop craving food. But… I’ve really got to go make some apple juice. So, just sit back and enjoy this short from Animaniacs that truly reflects the complexities of being on this diet and my love of movies. Enjoy!

Final Day of "Protein Only"!!!

Day: 3
Current Weight: 232.7 lb

So it's the weekend, and I feel compelled to tell you that the clinic that watches my eating habits is closed. It's a shame since they have a much better scale than I do at home. Well, at least it looks more expensive than the one I use. So, essentially, I weigh myself twice so I can keep track of the weight loss. All I know is that I lost another three pounds (yay!), but won't really know my exact weight (relative to my initial weight on Day 1) until Monday's update. I just started to sound like an engineer just then, describing the calibration and tare weight differences of two scales so I fully understand if you've moved on to another website by now.

It's just as well, the one thing I learned that you shouldn't do while eating a very limited amount of proteins and carbs is wash your car. Hey, it was all grimy and stuff and I washed my mom and sister's cars last week. My dad washed his car. And I was feeling left out. Bottom line is: I'm pooped and don't feel like writing another two page didactic on why I'm on this weight loss program.

I will, however, leave you with an idea that entered my mind when my folks were eating normal people food. My dog went over to my mom and dad and laid his chin on either one of their knees and they would respond by giving him a piece of whatever it was that they were eating. They wouldn't even look down at the dog. I tried to sneak under the table and see if I could get any of that action. But apparently there was no room under the dining table for a 20-pound dog and a 232.7-pound dude. Plus, it didn't help that I almost broke my dad's toe trying to beg for food.

On a brighter note, the incident reminded me of an episode of "I Love Lucy" where Lucy was trying to lose weight for one of Ricky's shows. The episode is called "The Diet" (who knew they named episodes even then?), and features an obsucure reference to a random dog (this was before they had that terrier, Fred) named Butch that was staying with the Ricardoes for some reason. Hilarity ensues and I'd love to post the episode on here but apparently it's nowhere to be found on the interweb. In exchange, I hope you enjoy this obscure clip of "The Nanny" featuring Lucy.

And on the Second Day, God created stress

Day: 2
Current Weight: 235.7 lb

Frustration. That about sums up the day. Doctor’s appointment this morning. Overslept. Cable repair came in today. It’s really the waiting that was the most annoying. And nothing magnifies the most irksome of situations like constant hunger. And it wasn’t the same kind of hunger you feel when you’re physically hungry. It was all in my head, which, by the way, was throbbing the whole day today.

I was only hungry because I knew I was capable of putting more food in my system. Physically speaking, I had enough food to keep me going the whole day, even had time to hop on the treadmill. But it wasn’t what I was used too. This first week is hell. Even the first time I went on this diet, I remember it being the worst three-day stretch. It’s only because I know that it does get better that I don’t abandon ship.

On the plus side, I did lose some weight. Almost three pounds! That number is naturally going to decrease as the program continues but there’s nothing like a big drop to get my psyche all psyched out. I apologize if the rest of this blog begins to lose coherence but stress, and a lack of food does that.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that I’ve lost weight, but it just seems to be a pretty rough day. And being hungry and dizzy isn’t exactly the best way to handle it. I tried to find different ways to distract myself from the hell that was today. Nothing really worked. I usually write to get rid of frustrations, but as you probably can already see, I can’t think straight enough to put words together into a witty sentence.

To make matters worse, I find that Harvey Danger is actually prophet when I see that only stupid people indeed are breeding. Today’s economy makes it tough to get a job right out of college. The only reason I went back to school was to get a good job and now my timing with current events puts me in a situation where I’m trying to look for work in a city where the unemployment rate is 11.9%. How messed up are things if even government jobs are not secure?

I decide to watch TV for a little bit, hoping I can escape this loathsome day for an hour or two. Reality TV is such a horrible, horrible, horrible invention. Besides the fact that it’s not actually “reality,” and everything is really scripted and acted out, it gives executives a legal loophole to not pay writers.

I just realized I began to rant for the previous two paragraphs. But, case in point, I can’t really focus. It’s not so much the physical hunger. You know that first week a smoker decides to quit cold turkey? You take away their security blanket and they go crazy. It’s the same thing with a fat dude like me. Take away my Twinkies and there are going to be consequences. Also, I’ve been feeling down lately. There are many reasons: the job situation, for one, and the fact that I haven’t been able to get out a lot lately. The life of a blogger is a lonely existence with only the constant electronic hum of a computer to keep me company. But then again, it’s just the food (or lack thereof). Tomorrow’s another day, and I hope it’s a much better one.

And Here We Go...

Day: 1
Current Weight: 238.3 lb

So ends the first day of my weight loss adventure. I’ve discovered that if I keep myself busy, then I don’t realize how hungry I really am. So far so good, but it won’t be until I weigh myself in the morning when I truly know how things are going. I wasn’t irritable at all today, which is really good. Usually at this point of a strict diet, I will find any excuse to rip someone’s head off so I can eat it.

But I had some yard work to do: painting to be more exact. It’s funny how you don’t notice how boredom plays into the impulse of eating. I wonder at what point of having nothing to do does one think, “I need something to do. How about I eat until that changes?” It’s actually kind of funny if you think about it.

What exactly are you thinking when you’re gorging yourself with comfort food? Nobody is ever really thinking about the food. When I’m eating something fatty, the only thing running though my head is the potential location of the nap I will take when it’s all done. That way, when I fall asleep, I’m too busy dreaming to feel guilty about ruining my health. And if I’m not dreaming, then I am definitely enjoying being in a carbohydrate-induced coma. Then when I wake up, I’m too busy trying to… well let’s just say I’m busy finishing the digestive process.

I’m sure you want to know what I did for my diet. Salads? All liquid? Vegan? Please. I am first and foremost a scientist and as such will approach my diet in an empirical and logical manner. MEAT! The previous three days were spent enjoying the pleasures of carbohydrates and grease. The following three days are all about the protein. The idea being that I get my metabolism going. Think of it like a roller coaster. Those first three days are the clickety-clack of that first big lift and the next days dedicated to protein are gravity taking effect. What will I do after that? Well you’re just going to have to wait until the end of day 7 to find out.

Essentially, I’m pumping my food with a lot of fat, then I get it into a fat burning mood. That way, when it runs out of fatty food to burn, it starts burning the stored fat in my body. Alas, this is not my own personal program as I mentioned in my previous blog. I wish I were smart enough to have thought of it first, but I guess I’d be a richer man instead of an overweight blogger.

Activity is very important in losing weight for obvious reasons. Now that I’m back on the wagon, I put myself back on the treadmill as well. A brisk 45-minute run as suggested by my doctor to get the heart a-pumpin’ was how I ended off the day. As part of my new regiment, I intend to change up my workout each week. This week is the “run on the treadmill for at least 45 minutes” workout, and next week might be “actually make use of the gym membership” workout. Who knows what crazy adventure that might entail? I guess we’ll have to wait to find out.

Well, here’s to hoping that I lost some pounds in what turned out to be a long day. I just hope I can go another two days of eating nothing but protein bars and chicken. On a side note, when eating this much meat, fiber is your best friend. I don’t mind, I just wished they sold fiber capsules in assorted flavors.

Where It All Started

In high school, I was at my heaviest at 280 pounds. I started to take diet pills and got down to 260 by the time I graduated. But then some heart palpitations and a company recall of said pills meant I needed a new way to lose weight. During college (the first round), I took up running and hiking and even took up a little weight lifting. After a really bad physical (let’s just say I scored high where I was not supposed to on the blood test), I asked my physician at the time to keep a short leash on me to get me healthy again. By the way, that’s a really bad idea unless you’ve got a lot of money to spend.

The year was 2004 and I was steadily teetering on the 255-pound mark. I had my degree in biology (Pre-med no less), and yet I was stuck with no job and an extremely waned interest in the medical field. So I went back to school to get a second degree and did what I thought I would never do: I joined a diet program (which shall remain nameless for now). And it worked. It worked really well.

After a year, I had gone from 254 pounds to 185 pounds. Now, that sounds like a success story, doesn’t it? Ask all the experts, and they’ll give you the same information. All it takes is the right food, the right education, a regular exercise regiment, and some will to lose all that weight. Bullshit. Now, I’m not saying that they’re lying especially since it obviously worked. But there is definitely one aspect of weight loss that is hardly ever emphasized, if at all.

Losing weight isn’t a just a physical feat. It’s mental and in some cases, very spiritual. In the same year that I lost nearly 70 pounds I was diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Hindsight showed me the irony of having OCD tendencies while on a very strict diet. But I suppose that’s why the program worked so well for me. The point is I treated them as two separate problems when one could have possibly been a result of the other.

My second degree was in civil engineering, which was definitely not helping with the stress levels. But three years later and here I stand at 235. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad I’ve never got back to any of my original weight. However, that can’t be good for my body. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted when I was losing all that weight. Losing weight isn’t exactly a concrete goal, at least not to me. I lost all that weight at about the time that my depression had peaked. Ultimately I still felt unhappy, making gaining the weight back infinitely easier to do.

Therefore, I declare that I will lose all that weight again and God help me, will keep it off. I have spent the past three days thoroughly enjoying the carnal pleasures of eating for the sake of eating. But for the next 10 weeks, I intend to chronicle the progress of my diet and mental status on this blog in the hopes that it will keep me more honest. If all goes well, I’ll be a much smaller man by the time Thanksgiving rolls around. And hopefully a much happier one at that.