Bloggers bless me for I have sinned it has
been nearly 2 years since my last post. I’ll be
brutally honest with myself and with anyone else reading: I totally dropped the
ball on this blog. It started off as a way to publicly log my progress on the
road to a healthier lifestyle and while it worked for a good long while I fell
victim to something that anyone doing anything worth doing should never fall
victim to: boredom, pure unadulterated boredom. And then my own mental
weaknesses saw me fall off the proverbial wagon and instead of powering through
to get back on the wagon I kicked my own self when I was down.
I feel like I lose the weight when I’m not
thinking about, that the physical aspect of it, while challenging, is the
easier aspect of the weight loss. The mental aspect of weight loss is one I
continually struggle with. In fact, I contest that if I were much more
susceptible to peer pressure in my younger days and took up smoking I would
likely be a thinner man today. Sure, in all likelihood my health would not be
any better (possibly worse) but I digress. My point is I feel that the biggest
reason that it’s so easy for me to gain the weight back is that my overeating
is more like an addiction to food. I’ll come out and admit that I eat when I’m
stressed, depressed, or just bored. A lot of people eat when they’re those
things but to exacerbate problems, I get bored of dieting pretty easily.
I put a lot of effort into eating healthy
meals and working out consistently and while past workouts have solved the
boredom problem, I still have trouble maintaining my enthusiasm for preparing
healthy portions. And I tend to injure myself a lot when I work out intensely (especially
in the feet). Then I lose steam and get deflated when I gain the weight back
until I hit rock bottom for the hundredth time. The other day I realized I
couldn’t tie my shoes without having to groan and struggle on my way down to
tie my shoe laces, the buttons on my dress shirt were just barely keeping
things together if I sat down a certain way, and I get winded after only three
flights of stairs. There was a moment in the three decades I’ve been on this
planet that I could go up five flights without breaking a sweat.
While I hate the idea of resolutions, I
figure the start of 2013 would be a good place to start taking control of my
life. On this blog I intend to keep track of (and be brutally honest about) my
progress on the road back to 180 (for realsies, this time). On my other blog, I
intend to get my creative juices flowing on a regular basis once again. It
should be noted that the last time I engaged in such a project I still consider
to be the most rewarding year of my life, despite how exhausted I felt at the
end of it. And to up the ante on the creative end (and perhaps as motivation to
get my ass moving and out into the real world, ironically) I have decided to
start uploading vlogs on a regular basis for an entire year, at least one video
per week.
Upon writing this I realized that a good
chunk of my life will be propped up for the entire world to see, digitally
speaking. That’s not to say that too many people will end up seeing my stuff
but it’s all there for the viewing if anyone so chooses to view it and normally
that would freak me out. But I actually find myself kind of excited, enthused
in fact, that I’m feeling a different kind of vulnerable. It’s a vulnerable
that I’m in control of and maybe that means this unfamiliar ground is one I
should be treading. Maybe it’s a sign of a change that I need in my otherwise
stale life. Whatever the outcome may be, I promise to myself to keep posting
honestly and regularly for the following year (at the very least). Here’s to a
great year!!!
